TRANSCRIPT FROM THE RADIO BROADCASTS OF CONSTANCE “CON ART” LEOPOLD ON HIS SHOW ENTITLED “MAD UNLIVING”
01 – 01 – 2020
“WHEN I WAS IN GRADE SCHOOL, THEY MADE US DO A STUPID LITTLE ASSIGNMENT IN CLASS ABOUT WHERE SEE OURSELVES WHEN WE'VE REACHED A CERTAIN AGE. WELL, THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO BE FORTY-FIVE. I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT. WHEN I WAS LITTLE, WHERE DID I SEE MYSELF? YOU KNOW, LIKE NOW. WOULD LITTLE ME BE HAPPY WITH FORTY-FIVE-YEAR-OLD ME? WELL, OF COURSE NOT.
“I'M LONELY, DRUNK, AND BLABBERING ON ALL DAY TO NO ONE. THE WORLD AROUND ME IS DESTROYED. IT'S BEEN ALMOST A DECADE SINCE THE OUTBREAK, SINCE DOOMSDAY, SINCE ARMAGEDDON, SINCE THE APOCALYPSE, SINCE- GOD, JUST CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT. IT'S BEEN SO LONG, BUT I STILL CAN'T WALK OUTSIDE WITHOUT FEELING DEATH. I HAVE TO HOLD MY WEAPON CLOSE. THERE COULD BE A MONSTER ANYWHERE AT ALL I LOOK.
“IF YOU'RE QUIET ENOUGH, YOU CAN HEAR THEIR GROWLS. YOU CAN HEAR THEM WHETHER OR NOT THEY'RE ACTUALLY THERE. YOU HEAR THOSE HORRIBLE SNARLS, GROWLS, GROANS, MUTTERS, HOLLERS, YOU HEAR THEM IN YOUR HEAD. IF YOU LET IT, IT WILL DRIVE YOU MAD.
“SOMETIMES I THINK IT ALREADY HAS.
“OH, PONCES... WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?
“RIGHT, LITTLE ME. WELL, I SAW MYSELF GROWING UP AND HAVING A FAMILY. I DON'T REMEMBER HOW OLD I WAS WHEN THEY MADE US LOOK TO OUR FUTURES. MAYBE TEN. I WANTED TO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WIFE AND A FEW KIDS. WE WOULD BUY A BIG HOUSE, EAT LOTS OF FOOD, PLAY GAMES, AND BE HAPPY. RIGHT NOW, I WOULD KILL TO HAVE ANY OF THOSE THINGS. I DON'T HAVE ANY OF THEM. NOT A SINGLE ONE.
“LITTLE ME WOULD LOOK AT BIG ME AND BE SCARED OUT OF HIS MIND. MY LIFE IS A HORROR. I WOULD NOT WISH MY LIFE ON ANYONE. SOMETIMES I THINK ABOUT KILLING MYSELF, BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT. AND WHY SHOULDN'T I THOUGH? THERE IS NO HOPE. THERE IS NO LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL. THE WORLD IS OVER AND IT ISN'T GOING TO COME BACK.”
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